The Pirate AU Meme - slightly extended

[amuse_box]

(Pirate AU Meme)

Rules: 
Leave a comment. 
Others will roll a number at the RNG and reply to your comment.
Decide on your roles and play!
Threads of more than two are welcome and encouraged.
 

1.  Boarded:  Your ship has been boarded, and as captain you've been captured!  Better hope the other captain gives quarter.  Alternatively, it's a nice warm day for a swim.  That plank was made for walking.

2.  Victory:  You've captured another ship!  You knew those extra cannons would come in handy.  And let's hope they've got lots of swag!  Where's the captain? Are you the decent sort, or are you going to rub their face in it for a bit?

3.  Swab the decks:  You're a cabin boy!  It's a good thing you don't mind doing all the dirty work, right?  Anyway, the captain's calling; better see what they want.

4.  Marooned:  For a bit there you'd thought you were in Davy's Jones' grip, but somehow you've washed ashore with the driftwood.  As you stare dazedly up from the surf, you have questions.  Where are you?  And who's that already on the shore?

5.  Buried Treasure:  Sink me! You've really found the mother lode. . . but you're not the only one.  Who gets to take the treasure back to their ship?  Better make sure it's you.

6.  Rum:  Rum, everywhere. 

7.  Swordfight:  It's that person you can't stand!  And they've taken your most valuable possession, that one of a kind thing you just can't live without!  Better get that trinket back before it and your nemesis are gone over the side forever.  Let's hear some swashes buckling.

8.  Mutiny:  The tack is full of maggots and this drinking water may as well have come from the gutter.  There's one person to blame for this, and you're here to make especially sure that they pay for it.  The captain does always seem to take the best treasure before everybody else.

9.  Kidnapping:  Don't they look rather peaceful, innocent even, sleeping so soundly there with their fancy nightclothes and pillows.  Brings a tear to your eye, it does.  Better take them aboard and send for a ransom.

10.  Take a Gamble:  Gotta spend your loot somehow, but it must have been the rum that had you bettin' everything at once!  You've lost to your hornswagglin' shipmate; what did you lose, and what will they make you do now?

11. Under the Sea:  You are now a Mermaid/Merman!  That sailor over there sure looks appealing; let's see if you can lure them in with your charms.  Don't forget that they can't breathe under water!  You do seem to always forget, don't you. . .

12.  Enemy from the Deep:  What was that?  Did you feel that?  An unseen enemy is about to take this ship swiftly to the bottom of the ocean.  Giant squid, enormous whales, sea serpents . . . hope you make it.

13.  The Doldrums:  Can you say cabin fever?  The sails haven't moved in weeks.  You're about seeing if your mates can relieve this awful boredom.  And hopefully find some food and water.  Don't squabble over it, now.

14.  The Brig:  Something you did has gotten you imprisoned in the very depths of this ship.  How long until you see your next meal?  When you see who put you here again, you'll make them pay.  Hold on, maybe there's someone else here too.

OR

Make up your own!  Arrrrr!
 meme by tropospheres and pandarosi 

Comments

[fuckincakewake]

[ They didn't practice anything beyond that part. Dirk pretty much hammered that into her head with the order, the demand, the plea that Roxy doesn't talk to the chick. Do not engage. Knock her out, drag her out, we can have a family reunion later, okay, preferably when we walk them off the plank, but for fuck's sake, Lalonde, do not let it stall for time by talking. ]

We got that covered.

[ Jerks the gun to the side, indicating Rose better get up sooner rather than later. When that doesn't produce immediate results (faster than immediate, Roxy has the patience of an infant), she reaches forward with the unarmed hand, going for a fistful of Rose's hair to wrench her to her feet. ]

[thorny]

Somehow I seriously doubt that.

[Rose instinctively grabs onto the hand pulling at her hair, grip digging in as tightly as she can. in a flash of inspiration she decides to attempt something a little more daring - still hanging onto Roxy's wrist she deliberately falls off the bed, hoping to take the would-be kidnapped with her and have a fair shot at grabbing that gun.

either that or the woman remains upright and get her wrist broken from the dead weight pulling on it. both options were perfectly fine in her mind.]

[fuckincakewake]

[ Annnnnd down both the girls go. Roxy yelps in protest at this move- she's a sneaky bitch, this one- and brings the butt of the pistol down hard against the offending girl's stupid fucking face. She is not gonna be bested by some half brained, spoiled brat, new chick who just so happens to share the same ancestry as her. ]

You sneaky little- I hope Dirk's gutting your little boyfriend right now!

[thorny]

[Rose grunts at the blow and lashes out with the letter opener, blinking the spots out of her eyes. if Roxy wants to take her it's going to have to be dead, because she refuses to move herself. stubbornness must run in the bloodline.]

What a horrible mental image, my having relations with a future brother. Truly piracy distorts the mind to unrecognizable dimensions.

[fuckincakewake]

[ Pained little hiss when the point drags through the skin of her arm. Roxy, while only a few years old than Rose, outweighs her by enough to shoulder all her body weight against the girl, pressing her to the floor, pinning this sneering, jerk body beneath hers. Can't use the gun for much other than an empty threat, but it can't be comfortable- a barrel to her temple when she presses an arm down against Rose's neck.

They've made enough noise so far, she she keeps her voice low. ]

The closest thing you've got to family is who you just tried to stab.

[ Blood from the eariler wound oozes down Roxy's arm, dripping onto Rose's collar. ]

[thorny]

[her breath comes out in ragged wheezes, struggling to make it through the blockade the arm to her throat presents. her eyes are narrowed and filled with utter loathing, something which carries through quite clearly in her tone despite the ragged quality.]

Believe me, I'm not someone you'd want to claim relation to.

[she's got a lot of disadvantages right now, but what does she really have to lose? with a pained gasp she forces her head up against the pressure on her neck to try and give Roxy a big headbutt]

[fuckincakewake]

[ Roxy tries to flinch away in time, but still takes the force of the attack right in the center of her skull. Keeps her grip on her gun (cause she might be drunk, but she's not an idiot) but rolls back off of Rose, dazed from the blow. See, Roxy, this is why you don't talk to the kids! ]

[thorny]

[Rose is seeing stars as well, but she knows that she's got to act fast. with a huge shuddering breath (oh my god air yes) she rolls over onto her knees and lashes out with the letter opener again, this time aiming to imbed it in one of Roxy's legs and severely impede her movement.

it'll make staggering for the door so much easier, quite honestly.]

[fuckincakewake]

[ Realizes at the last possible second what this chick is about to do! Short cry in alarm, yanks her leg out of the way and tries to kick Rose square in the flat chest. All right, this is enough of amateur hour fighting, time to try her own fucking tactic. ]

Holy shit! Fine! We won't kill them! Just chill out! What the fuck?? Not like I want to do this anyway.

[thorny]

[Rose skitters to the side just fast enough to get kicked in the shoulder rather than the chest. she clutches the opener in her hand, expression a mix of disdain and disbelief]

Then feel free to use the door at any time. I promise it won't hit you on the way out.

[fuckincakewake]

[ Inspecting the cut on her arm- nothing major. Little scoff of disbelief that she's supposed to drop it that easy. ]

Shit, I wish I could. But it's really important we take you kids along on a super fun magic adventure to overthrow a dictatorship because it's all of our destinies.

[ What? Mostly true. ]

[thorny]

[Rose gives a very unladylike snort at that]

Ah yes, how could I have ever assumed differently? That's the usual and completely plausible intent of all nighttime intruders.

[fuckincakewake]

[ Smirk. ]

You're right, it's way more probable we want to kidnap you for your glowing personality and ample rack.

[thorny]

[wow excuse you she's like thirteen and not everyone is a hormonal freak?]

Considering the absolutely stellar business decisions I've seen you make so far tonight, that assumption wouldn't be entirely out of the question.

[fuckincakewake]

[ Welcome to piracy, kid. ]

And you can cross ransom off the list since as far as I know, your mom and step dad are being offed as we speak, but hey. If you wanna keep being a little bitch to me when I can easily leave you with a ship full of corpses, be my fucking guest. How much do you know about sailing?

[thorny]

[fuck that, she's waiting for the fairies]

Enough to know that the indiscriminate slaughter of several high-ranking nobles is enough to ensure that you and whoever else is dense enough to take on this little quest will be dancing the hangman's jig in short order. Bounties are so tempting to a poor community of sailors.

[she examines her nails, tone implying complete boredom with the conversation. the thought of her relations being killed riles her up on the inside, but she knows better than to betray it.]

That's assuming that my mother hasn't fallen overboard in the time it took to subdue Strider, of course.

[fuckincakewake]

[ Starts, thinking for a moment she means her Strider rather than the others. Fuck, this is confusing. Shakes her head to clear it, points the gun back to Rose. ]

You can be as much of a smarty-pants as you want kid. But my partner's a lot more convincing than me, so I can guarantee your "brother" or whatever is leaving with us. You can stay here and figure out how to make this ship anything other than dead in the water without a crew, though.

[thorny]

You're free to have him, if you can stomach his presence for more than a few moments. [she waves a hand dismissively, coincidentally the one holding the letter opener. you know, just a small reminder about how great brandishing that gun went for Roxy the last time.]

I believe that I'll take my chances on the supposedly future ghost ship, as you haven't exactly given me any reason to believe that your threat is credible.

[fuckincakewake]

[ Why does she have to be so difficult! She's as stubborn as Dirk, but twice as annoying. Growls low in her throat, pocketing the gun and nodding to the door behind her. ]

Fine. Let's go see some dead bodies.

[thorny]

[BECAUSE THIS IS THE LALONDE WAY and also because she's 98% sure that what seems like two people can't wrangle and massacre an entire ship's crew and passengers.

she stands, idly brushing off some dirt from her nightgown but otherwise remaining motionless. she's not going ahead of Roxy and she's fairly sure that Roxy won't go out first, either. side by side is safer and easier to keep the damn pirate from pulling any shit.]

I just hope that you don't expect me to collapse into a sobbing mess at the sight of a corpse.

sooo sorry i disappeared. just spent the last 5 hours on the phone. technical difficulties. bluh!

[fuckincakewake]

[ Two people can't helm a ship on their own too! It's a tricky thing. On the one hand they know sinking the ship and its ihabitants will assure them nobody will come looking for their kidnapped offspring. On the otherside.. Dirk seemed pretty sure the kids wouldn't do as they said if their parents were deep sea diving.

Roxy walks up to Rose, full intent to walk out of the room side by side. Any second now. Gonna find her a dead body. Ugh, why's this kid gotta be so smart!!! ]

... Fine. I didn't kill anybody yet, and we would really rather fucking not. Will you come with me now?

oh wow that must've sucked.

[thorny]

I'd be perfectly amenable to a nighttime stroll through the ship with you. [she links arms with Roxy in the traditional gentlemanly way, smiling sardonically] Although I still can't make any promises that I'll change my mind on embarking on a voyage with you and your cohort.

not the most fun i've had. sorry for disappearing!

[fuckincakewake]

[ A little surprised by the arm around hers. This chick is like, a real lady. There's a twinge of something other than anger and jealousy for this kid, like regret she didn't get to live this kind of cushy, ladylike lifestyle. Roxy likes her upbringing just fine.. but this way of living is kinda cute!

Leads Rose for a turn around the room- they can't creep out in case they get seen by anyone out for a nighttime stroll. So for now they won't go far. ]

Do you know the story of the famous author and actor who teamed up to take down the Condesce and failed and died bloody? [ Realizing she just told the entire story, little flush of embarrassment. Not exactly the master storyteller her mother was. ] uh. Those are sorta the key points.

haha, it's fine. i've been super busy lately anyway.

[thorny]

I believe that I may have perused my leather-bound edition of that particular fairytale a few times during my childhood, yes.

[it had been labelled a fairytale because some of the shit that the author claimed had happened had just been way too outrageous for reality. a tyrant turning out to secretly be the incarnation of the ocean itself? craaaaazy.]

[fuckincakewake]

[ Grip tightens. She doesn't really like hearing everything she's been working for is just a story for some snotnosed little kid with poopy diapers, after all. ]

Not a fairy tale. That author was my mom.