The Pirate AU Meme - slightly extended

[amuse_box]

(Pirate AU Meme)

Rules: 
Leave a comment. 
Others will roll a number at the RNG and reply to your comment.
Decide on your roles and play!
Threads of more than two are welcome and encouraged.
 

1.  Boarded:  Your ship has been boarded, and as captain you've been captured!  Better hope the other captain gives quarter.  Alternatively, it's a nice warm day for a swim.  That plank was made for walking.

2.  Victory:  You've captured another ship!  You knew those extra cannons would come in handy.  And let's hope they've got lots of swag!  Where's the captain? Are you the decent sort, or are you going to rub their face in it for a bit?

3.  Swab the decks:  You're a cabin boy!  It's a good thing you don't mind doing all the dirty work, right?  Anyway, the captain's calling; better see what they want.

4.  Marooned:  For a bit there you'd thought you were in Davy's Jones' grip, but somehow you've washed ashore with the driftwood.  As you stare dazedly up from the surf, you have questions.  Where are you?  And who's that already on the shore?

5.  Buried Treasure:  Sink me! You've really found the mother lode. . . but you're not the only one.  Who gets to take the treasure back to their ship?  Better make sure it's you.

6.  Rum:  Rum, everywhere. 

7.  Swordfight:  It's that person you can't stand!  And they've taken your most valuable possession, that one of a kind thing you just can't live without!  Better get that trinket back before it and your nemesis are gone over the side forever.  Let's hear some swashes buckling.

8.  Mutiny:  The tack is full of maggots and this drinking water may as well have come from the gutter.  There's one person to blame for this, and you're here to make especially sure that they pay for it.  The captain does always seem to take the best treasure before everybody else.

9.  Kidnapping:  Don't they look rather peaceful, innocent even, sleeping so soundly there with their fancy nightclothes and pillows.  Brings a tear to your eye, it does.  Better take them aboard and send for a ransom.

10.  Take a Gamble:  Gotta spend your loot somehow, but it must have been the rum that had you bettin' everything at once!  You've lost to your hornswagglin' shipmate; what did you lose, and what will they make you do now?

11. Under the Sea:  You are now a Mermaid/Merman!  That sailor over there sure looks appealing; let's see if you can lure them in with your charms.  Don't forget that they can't breathe under water!  You do seem to always forget, don't you. . .

12.  Enemy from the Deep:  What was that?  Did you feel that?  An unseen enemy is about to take this ship swiftly to the bottom of the ocean.  Giant squid, enormous whales, sea serpents . . . hope you make it.

13.  The Doldrums:  Can you say cabin fever?  The sails haven't moved in weeks.  You're about seeing if your mates can relieve this awful boredom.  And hopefully find some food and water.  Don't squabble over it, now.

14.  The Brig:  Something you did has gotten you imprisoned in the very depths of this ship.  How long until you see your next meal?  When you see who put you here again, you'll make them pay.  Hold on, maybe there's someone else here too.

OR

Make up your own!  Arrrrr!
 meme by tropospheres and pandarosi 

Comments

[thorny]

[Rose skitters to the side just fast enough to get kicked in the shoulder rather than the chest. she clutches the opener in her hand, expression a mix of disdain and disbelief]

Then feel free to use the door at any time. I promise it won't hit you on the way out.

[fuckincakewake]

[ Inspecting the cut on her arm- nothing major. Little scoff of disbelief that she's supposed to drop it that easy. ]

Shit, I wish I could. But it's really important we take you kids along on a super fun magic adventure to overthrow a dictatorship because it's all of our destinies.

[ What? Mostly true. ]

[thorny]

[Rose gives a very unladylike snort at that]

Ah yes, how could I have ever assumed differently? That's the usual and completely plausible intent of all nighttime intruders.

[fuckincakewake]

[ Smirk. ]

You're right, it's way more probable we want to kidnap you for your glowing personality and ample rack.

[thorny]

[wow excuse you she's like thirteen and not everyone is a hormonal freak?]

Considering the absolutely stellar business decisions I've seen you make so far tonight, that assumption wouldn't be entirely out of the question.

[fuckincakewake]

[ Welcome to piracy, kid. ]

And you can cross ransom off the list since as far as I know, your mom and step dad are being offed as we speak, but hey. If you wanna keep being a little bitch to me when I can easily leave you with a ship full of corpses, be my fucking guest. How much do you know about sailing?

[thorny]

[fuck that, she's waiting for the fairies]

Enough to know that the indiscriminate slaughter of several high-ranking nobles is enough to ensure that you and whoever else is dense enough to take on this little quest will be dancing the hangman's jig in short order. Bounties are so tempting to a poor community of sailors.

[she examines her nails, tone implying complete boredom with the conversation. the thought of her relations being killed riles her up on the inside, but she knows better than to betray it.]

That's assuming that my mother hasn't fallen overboard in the time it took to subdue Strider, of course.

[fuckincakewake]

[ Starts, thinking for a moment she means her Strider rather than the others. Fuck, this is confusing. Shakes her head to clear it, points the gun back to Rose. ]

You can be as much of a smarty-pants as you want kid. But my partner's a lot more convincing than me, so I can guarantee your "brother" or whatever is leaving with us. You can stay here and figure out how to make this ship anything other than dead in the water without a crew, though.

[thorny]

You're free to have him, if you can stomach his presence for more than a few moments. [she waves a hand dismissively, coincidentally the one holding the letter opener. you know, just a small reminder about how great brandishing that gun went for Roxy the last time.]

I believe that I'll take my chances on the supposedly future ghost ship, as you haven't exactly given me any reason to believe that your threat is credible.

[fuckincakewake]

[ Why does she have to be so difficult! She's as stubborn as Dirk, but twice as annoying. Growls low in her throat, pocketing the gun and nodding to the door behind her. ]

Fine. Let's go see some dead bodies.

[thorny]

[BECAUSE THIS IS THE LALONDE WAY and also because she's 98% sure that what seems like two people can't wrangle and massacre an entire ship's crew and passengers.

she stands, idly brushing off some dirt from her nightgown but otherwise remaining motionless. she's not going ahead of Roxy and she's fairly sure that Roxy won't go out first, either. side by side is safer and easier to keep the damn pirate from pulling any shit.]

I just hope that you don't expect me to collapse into a sobbing mess at the sight of a corpse.

sooo sorry i disappeared. just spent the last 5 hours on the phone. technical difficulties. bluh!

[fuckincakewake]

[ Two people can't helm a ship on their own too! It's a tricky thing. On the one hand they know sinking the ship and its ihabitants will assure them nobody will come looking for their kidnapped offspring. On the otherside.. Dirk seemed pretty sure the kids wouldn't do as they said if their parents were deep sea diving.

Roxy walks up to Rose, full intent to walk out of the room side by side. Any second now. Gonna find her a dead body. Ugh, why's this kid gotta be so smart!!! ]

... Fine. I didn't kill anybody yet, and we would really rather fucking not. Will you come with me now?

oh wow that must've sucked.

[thorny]

I'd be perfectly amenable to a nighttime stroll through the ship with you. [she links arms with Roxy in the traditional gentlemanly way, smiling sardonically] Although I still can't make any promises that I'll change my mind on embarking on a voyage with you and your cohort.

not the most fun i've had. sorry for disappearing!

[fuckincakewake]

[ A little surprised by the arm around hers. This chick is like, a real lady. There's a twinge of something other than anger and jealousy for this kid, like regret she didn't get to live this kind of cushy, ladylike lifestyle. Roxy likes her upbringing just fine.. but this way of living is kinda cute!

Leads Rose for a turn around the room- they can't creep out in case they get seen by anyone out for a nighttime stroll. So for now they won't go far. ]

Do you know the story of the famous author and actor who teamed up to take down the Condesce and failed and died bloody? [ Realizing she just told the entire story, little flush of embarrassment. Not exactly the master storyteller her mother was. ] uh. Those are sorta the key points.

haha, it's fine. i've been super busy lately anyway.

[thorny]

I believe that I may have perused my leather-bound edition of that particular fairytale a few times during my childhood, yes.

[it had been labelled a fairytale because some of the shit that the author claimed had happened had just been way too outrageous for reality. a tyrant turning out to secretly be the incarnation of the ocean itself? craaaaazy.]

[fuckincakewake]

[ Grip tightens. She doesn't really like hearing everything she's been working for is just a story for some snotnosed little kid with poopy diapers, after all. ]

Not a fairy tale. That author was my mom.

[thorny]

In that case she desperately needs a better publicist.

[seriously. it's not even that popular of a fairytale - the only reason Rose had it was because it was part of her mother's mysteriously bizarre library]

[fuckincakewake]

[ Digs her nails into Rose's picturesque pale little arm. ]

She's dead.

[thorny]

Not from a lack of royalties from her paltry publications, I hope.

[she doesn't flinch, although her elbow magically finds a way to dig into Roxy's ribs. funny how that works.]

[fuckincakewake]

No, the Condesce murdered her. And I bet in a couple years she'll follow up on that by killing you too.

[ Done with this little feigning friendly game, detangles their arms to hold Rose at arm's length. ]

That's why we're here.

[thorny]

[and they immediately go to cross over her chest, an eyebrow raising daintily to complete the picture]

I highly doubt that, unless the stress causes my mental faculties to detach from reality and I murder my entire family in their sleep some muggy island night. It does make your little excursion here sound much more charitable though, I'll give it that.

[fuckincakewake]

[ Rolls her eyes. Thought this kid was supposed to be smart. ]

Nope. She will waste you and your not-brother like she wants to kill me and Dirk. That is definitely in her plans.

[thorny]

That seems like an awfully large amount of effort expended on several unrelated persons by a supposed sea tyrant.

[sorry honey but she's not interested in what you're selling]

[fuckincakewake]

[ Stop being stubborn! ]

It's not unrelated. You've got something to do with my mother, the little twerp in the other room has to do with Dirk's bro, and that's why we need to get you out of here.

[thorny]

[nah, don't wanna]

And the reasons you simply can't leave us to take our chances alone are..?