amuse_box | The Pirate AU Meme

(Pirate AU Meme)

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1. Boarded: Your ship has been boarded, and as captain you've been captured! Better hope the other captain gives quarter. Alternatively, it's a nice warm day for a swim. That plank was made for walking.

2. Victory: You've captured another ship! You knew those extra cannons would come in handy. And let's hope they've got lots of swag! Where's the captain? Are you the decent sort, or are you going to rub their face in it for a bit?

3. Swab the decks: You're a cabin boy! It's a good thing you don't mind doing all the dirty work, right? Anyway, the captain's calling; better see what they want.

4. Marooned: For a bit there you'd thought you were in Davy's Jones' grip, but somehow you've washed ashore with the driftwood. As you stare dazedly up from the surf, you have questions. Where are you? And who's that already on the shore?

5. Buried Treasure: Sink me! You've really found the mother lode. . . but you're not the only one. Who gets to take the treasure back to their ship? Better make sure it's you.

6. Rum: Rum, everywhere.

7. Swordfight: It's that person you can't stand! And they've taken your most valuable possession, that one of a kind thing you just can't live without! Better get that trinket back before it and your nemesis are gone over the side forever. Let's hear some swashes buckling.

8. Mutiny: The tack is full of maggots and this drinking water may as well have come from the gutter. There's one person to blame for this, and you're here to make especially sure that they pay for it. The captain does always seem to take the best treasure before everybody else.

9. Kidnapping: Don't they look rather peaceful, innocent even, sleeping so soundly there with their fancy nightclothes and pillows. Brings a tear to your eye, it does. Better take them aboard and send for a ransom.

10. Take a Gamble: Gotta spend your loot somehow, but it must have been the rum that had you bettin' everything at once! You've lost to your hornswagglin' shipmate; what did you lose, and what will they make you do now?

11. Under the Sea: You are now a Mermaid/Merman! That sailor over there sure looks appealing; let's see if you can lure them in with your charms. Don't forget that they can't breathe under water! You do seem to always forget, don't you. . .

12. Enemy from the Deep: What was that? Did you feel that? An unseen enemy is about to take this ship swiftly to the bottom of the ocean. Giant squid, enormous whales, sea serpents . . . hope you make it.

13. The Doldrums: Can you say cabin fever? The sails haven't moved in weeks. You're about seeing if your mates can relieve this awful boredom. And hopefully find some food and water. Don't squabble over it, now.

14. The Brig: Something you did has gotten you imprisoned in the very depths of this ship. How long until you see your next meal? When you see who put you here again, you'll make them pay. Hold on, maybe there's someone else here too.

OR

Make up your own! Arrrrr!
meme by

tropospheres and

pandarosi

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[wait what?]

... You think I'm a ghost?

[right.]

I hate to disappoint you, but I'm very real.

[Which to prove her point, she dropped the bottle of wine on his stomach. Hard.]

How else would you be here? There are no women allowed on my ship.

Eve-- [Grunting as the wine hits his stomach and he catches it with one hand before it goes elsewhere, other tilting up his hat again.]

This is a good year. Sadly I'm not a wine drinker. Peddle your goods elsewhere. [Holding it out to her.]

I wasn't allowed, no. However your crew is fantastically easy to bribe, and not for very much either.

[she rolled her eyes at him, then took the bottle back.]

No? A shame then. Because you're right it is a good year, and your crew has drunk all the rum, my wine is the last of the alcohol on deck.

Ah, but they have been below deck for all of the day and you would have had to have gone past me to get them. Therefore you have not seen my crew unless you're going there now.

...Rum? [And they didn't save any for him? Abruptly shaking his head.] No, won't have it, no wine.

You really don't think I'm real because I magically crept past you?

No rum, it's all gone. [Which if he's not going to drink it, excuse her while she uncorks it with a knife and goes about drinking it herself.] Your loss.

Exactly. Every floorboard on this ship creaks. No way of getting past me.

...

[Thinks of his thirst.]

Maybe... I might try it a bit.

[She laughs dryly.] Clearly I must be a ghost.

... Unless I got on below decks to start with and I never walked across the deck at all.

[she pauses in her mouthful.] Are you completely sure? You seemed so very certain before that you didn't want any.

Ah, but that would mean I have to believe in ghosts. Which I decidedly don't. [Even after all he's been through.]

...There's no way to get on board that way. [You can't squeeze all that through a port hole.]

...I'm a bit parched.

You don't make any sense, I'll have you know. [you're a ridiculous man, Sparrow.]

So how exactly did I get on deck?

[she takes another mouthful... ssslllooowwwlllyyy] Oh, that is unfortunate.

Then I am accomplishing exactly what I set out to do, haven't I?

How am I to know. I'm not a ghost.

...Don't need it anyway, we'll be in Tortuga soon.

I can't work out if you're irritating or amusing. How does that factor?

Good, I'm not either.

Are you completely sure? Because as I understand it... with this lack of wind, we're still a couple of days away.

To be honest, I prefer neither. To be irritating is to want gone in the permanent sort of way and amusing means you want me to stick around. I like having my freedom.

The wind will come or I'll find me some sea turtles.

The Pirate AU Meme - slightly extended

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